Oh my god, what's that smell??!!

I'm just watching television while I'm typing this (I know, pretty good multitasking on my part, eh?), and I thought it was fitting that an interesting fact just came up because this was exactly what I was going to write about anyway.

"Most people fart between 10 - 15 times per day, with men and women farting about the same amount."

The other day I had pizza for dinner. Mel and I had just arrived home from delivering, or attempting to deliver, her mini to a garage so it could get fixed when Patsy declared we should order it from the place up the street called "Papa's Pizza", or something to that effect. It's a good place, and you can pile as many toppings on as you want, at no extra charge. I thought this was amazing, so I agreed we should try this place. We did our ordering and waited patiently whilst watching a pirate dvd (Shhh! Don't tell!) that Patsy had picked up on her recent trip to Bali. A knock on the door later told us that the pizza had arrived. Remarkably the delivery guy was actually super nice and friendly, which only made me respect Papa's Pizza even more.

So we break open the pizza and tear into it. I do have to say that it was very, very good. Toppings to the edge, crust was exactly as it should be (although they forgot to put on the feta cheese that I asked for)... It was great. UNTIL half an hour later my stomach decided that the pizza wasn't as good as I first thought and I started to fart up a storm. I didn't understand what was going on, it was pretty gross. I decide to sleep it off and go to bed, and see what happens in the morning.

The next day, nothing changed. I had to work in the morning at Tank Juice, and then the evening at The Club, but that 10 - 15 fart average was EASILY exceeded by a factor of four. I'm not even kidding. Not only that (you might want to skip this sentence if you already think this entry is disgusting), but I actually crapped about six times yesterday. I'm sorry if you didn't listen to my warning and have now lost all respect for me. I must have had a very mild case of food poisoning, but I don't know for sure. I'm okay this morning though...

I suppose there's some good in this: I have now brought the average back up in the fart category. By farting four times as much as most people over the past 36 hours, I make up for all those girls that say they never fart. Cheers ladies!!